It’s been another weird week in retail.
Prada secured its spot in the social media limelight with a $185 designer paperclip, Villa Italian Kitchen created a $10,000 edible pizza-kini and Spider-Man swung into Starbucks for a cup of coffee.
This, and more, in this week’s Retail Therapy.
Prada’s pricey paperclip
A new week, a new overpriced luxury item goes viral.
These days it seems upscale brands and department stores are using social media as a testing ground to see just how many mundane products can be sold at a premium. Remember the $85 leather-wrapped Nordstrom rock, Top Shop’s $95 clear-knee mom jeans or Y/Project's $425 detachable jeans? We have to wonder if these items were created with the intention of trolling consumers.
This week, handbag and accessories maker Prada got in on the action with a $185 paperclip-shaped money clip sold at Barney’s New York. The 6.25 cm by 2 cm sterling silver clip (which also comes in a twisted design) is of course emblazoned with the brands name — because if you buy a $185 paperclip, you better be sure to show where you got it.
So what exactly does one do with a $185 paperclip-shaped money clip now that mobile payments such as Apple Pay and Venmo are becoming the new norm and cash more scarce?
The possibilities are endless now that the luxury brand has dropped the price to a discounted $150. Here’s what folks on Twitter had to say about the product:
This shit better hold my whole life together y'all. https://t.co/HH0bUpsmKu
— Kim Thai (@kkimthai) June 23, 2017
Prada is selling a $185 paper clip and it doesn't even help you write a resumé. pic.twitter.com/sLEjKRKM1o
— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) June 24, 2017
mood: being wealthy enough to have a $185 Prada money paperclip pic.twitter.com/P774DcQAOr
— VENUS (@DEVILDIOR) June 22, 2017
The $10,000 pizza-kini
Still looking for the perfect summer suit to take to the beach? Still haven’t made it to the grocery store? Kill two birds with one stone and try on the new pizza-kini — it’s only $10,000.
This week Villa Italian Kitchen collaborated with food stylist Jessie Bearden to bring the world a cheesy, edible and absurdly overpriced bikini in honor of July 5 apparently being National Bikini Day.
Perhaps those wealthy enough to purchase the Prada paperclip will fork over the dough to get personally fitted in this new suit, which is “made from only the freshest ingredients, including homemade, hand-braided dough, 100% whole milk mozzarella cheese, sauce made from fresh California tomatoes and delicious pepperoni, according to the company’s Facebook post.
Sadly, there is only one pizza-kini in the world so far, the company told HuffPost, although sales officially start just after the holiday weekend. Get it while it’s hot.
Spiderman swings into Starbucks
Starbucks customers are perhaps still haunted by Unicorn frappuccinos, the Midnight Mint Mocha frappuccino, the Ombre Pink Drink, or really any Starbucks limited edition beverage as of late. And this week it got worse. The coffee chain began offering customers another “what the f***k” experience — or, well, Spider-Man did.
Actor Tom Holland’s stunt double spent two days dropping through the ceiling of a New York Starbucks to pick up his morning joe, Mashable reports, in a stunt that left unsuspecting customers jumping, starting, swearing, or worst of all — staring blankly.
Exhibit A:
The event, a promotion for the July 7 Spider-Man: Homecoming movie (because 15 years of five Spider-Man films and two Spider-Man actors just isn’t enough) was a huge hit with at least some coffee-drinkers.
#SpiderMan Grabs Coffee At Starbucks New York City! pic.twitter.com/X1iBCKMF2I
— Amogh Huddar (@imakryptonian) June 27, 2017
At least the only thing these NYC customers had to worry about was the metaphorical s**t being scared out of them. Lactose-intolerant Starbucks customer Demit Strato wasn’t so lucky.
Although a Starbucks barista was able to ignore his request for soy milk on Monday, Strato’s body wasn’t. Eleven trips to the bathroom later, Strato wrote the coffee shop a very personal and very angry letter... from the privacy of his toilet.
#Mooseontheloose newest Men’s Wearhouse customer
Speaking of finding things in places they probably shouldn’t be... shoppers at a mall in Broomfield, Colorado got a surprise visit from a moose on Monday morning, Fox News reports.
This youthful moose was found loitering by a shopping mall — because hey, we all need a fresh set of clothes sometimes — and was eventually tranquilized “near the Men’s Wearhouse” (the Wildlife officers must not have liked the way he looked, George Zimmer guarantee or not). A conspiracy theory on whether the moose was actually tranquilized for shopping at Men’s Wearhouse is as-of-yet unexplored.
According to the report, this is the second time this month that the moose has shown up in the area, which spawns the question: how far is Colorado willing to go to allow inhabitants to shop? Apparently not far.
Wildlife officers will be carting the moose to a more “‘moose-friendly’ habitat” while the rest of Colorado “hope[s] it doesn’t come back.”
“He must really like it here… usually they stay where we move them to,” Colorado Parks and Wildlife spokeswoman Jennifer Churchill told Fox News.
This event could mark the beginning of an era, in which moose from all over begin experiencing a human-like interest in retail. Or, Men’s Wearhouse’s newest customer could just really like the way he looks. Guaranteed.
The moose is no longer on the loose. Thanks @COParksWildlife for all of your hard work.
— Broomfield Police (@BroomfieldPD) June 26, 2017
@COParksWildlife BPD is assisting with traffic; moose is taking a break; avoid E. FlatIron Crossing Blvd/Flatiron Marketplace Dr
— Broomfield Police (@BroomfieldPD) June 26, 2017
Moose on the loose in the area of Mall; close to US36 & FlatIron Crossing Dr; DOW enroute; may affect traffic pic.twitter.com/IP5GdDONPo
— Broomfield Police (@BroomfieldPD) June 26, 2017
