It's been another weird week in retail.
This week, Nordstrom debuted perhaps the strangest jeans we've ever seen, Panasonic introduced a washing machine button that's specifically designed to remove curry stains and a drunk man took a milk delivery truck for a joy ride... from one side of a Wal-Mart parking lot to the other.
This, and more, in this week’s Retail Therapy.
Ripped knee jeans are out. Clear knee jeans are in?
“Off-duty styling never looked so good” — so reads the description on Nordstrom’s most hated pair of jeans. Many consumers, however, say they look anything but good.
Remember the terrible high-waisted, light-washed mom jeans? Remember ill-fitting flooded jeans that cropped awkwardly at the calf? Combine those two atrocities, add clear rectangle cutouts over the knees and voila — you have Nordstrom’s latest, and perhaps most confusing, viral product: Topshop-branded "Clear Panel Mom Jeans."
If they don’t sound cool yet, fear not. The product description advises that shoppers “wear them folded at the cuffs to keep them looking cool.”
Oh, if only that would make these jeans look cool. Product reviewer Jimberly, who left the pants a perfect five star review, certainly thinks so. “If you love knees and you love jeans you will love knees jeans,” she wrote, adding that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for fashion.
Alas, Jimberly is an outlier. These jeans were ripped apart — and not in that cool, distressed way — on social media by confused shoppers.
Tom Lenk, the actor best known for starring in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the comedian best known for recreating celebrity fashion looks (this was his hilarious attempt at Oscar attire), even joined in on the craze. His takeaway? Get ready for sweaty knees.
Get those @Nordstrom @Topshop #clearkneemomjeans ($95 online) w/ Mom jeans ($7.94 at thrift store) & a shower curtain ($FREE from my HAUS). pic.twitter.com/my2QLbHagI
— Tom Lenk (@tomlenk) March 14, 2017
SUCH SWEATY KNEES #CLEARKNEEMOMJEANS pic.twitter.com/VQcju6okRL
— Tom Lenk (@tomlenk) March 15, 2017
Wtf? First of all: Mom Jeans??? Second: why do knees need a window?? https://t.co/KJ8uMHSWUD
— Pukado by Patricia (@PukadoCrochet) March 14, 2017
You guys this is not a drill. I repeat, not a drill. This is the world we live in now: https://t.co/qs9AoEcI8b #wtf #hipsternonsense
— Erin Gates (@elementstyle) March 14, 2017
These are actual jeans you can buy at @Nordstrom that cost $95.
— ᴊᴇᴅ ᴡʜɪᴛᴀᴋᴇʀ (@Jed05) March 13, 2017
Called Clear Knee Mom Jeans.
We are truly living in the dark time line. pic.twitter.com/vv9flwQeXx
@Nordstrom WTF? I lived thru the 80's and nothing was as bad as this!! #clearkneemomjeans https://t.co/86HdAWbUz6
— Heidi Cara (@rockinhavoc) March 14, 2017
Curry stain? There's a washing machine feature for that
Tired of food stains ruining your clothes? Sick of that day-old curry smell wafting off your button-down? Fed up with oils leaving blotches on your blouse?
Don't worry — there’s a new washing machine for all that. Home appliance maker Panasonic has heard your complaints and found a solution: The curry button.
The company released a washing machine this week for the Indian market that has specific buttons to target stains from curry, sauces and oil, among other features, the BBC reports. The new features come in response to complaints from customers detailing their struggles to fully get food stains out of their clothes.
Panasonic teased to the BBC that it has more blemish-blasting features coming soon for other Asia markets, making messy curry-eaters in other parts of the globe rather jealous.
Why only for the Indian market? I want one of these! The washing machine with a "curry" setting https://t.co/h3xNXjHixc pic.twitter.com/t3gjJ04eCD
— Laurence Cawley (@LaurenceCawley) March 10, 2017
No use in crying over spilled milk
A Prairie Farms milk truck driver was finishing up his usual milk delivery to a Wal-Mart in Elizabethtown, KY around 5:30 a.m. Sunday morning when he encountered a problem — his milk truck wasn’t where he left it in the Wal-Mart parking lot.
The truck, which was left running with the keys in the ignition, according to local news reports, was found on the other side of the parking lot.
That’s where intoxicated Dakota Edwards comes in. A Wal-Mart employee witnessed the 24-year-old take the milk truck for a quick ride over to the neighboring Steak ‘n Shake. Edwards, who said the joy ride was “just a joke,” was arrested by police for theft of a motor vehicle and alcohol intoxication in a public place.
It could have been much worse: Reports thankfully suggest no milk was actually spilled. I mean, just look what could have happened...
The unfortunate reality of being named 'Alexa Seary'
The popularity of Amazon's Alexa and Apple's Siri voice assistant technologies have soared over the last year — but Alexa Seary is not a fan.
The 21-year-old, whose name sounds like both bot assistants, told South West News Service this week that her life is a "waking nightmare."
“It started off at work. It would be, ‘Siri, do this, Siri do that,’ and now they do the same thing with Alexa,” she said, according to The Huffington Post. "Mostly people just say, ‘Haha, I’m telling you what to do,’ and I’m like, ‘OK, haha, that’s a new one.’”
Seary apparently has Siri on her phone, but she says an Alexa-enabled device is out of the question:
“My mom’s husband was thinking about getting one and he thought it was pretty funny. If we had one in our house it would be a complete disaster. I would scream back every time someone said ‘Alexa’ automatically or vice versa.”
