It's been another weird week in retail. But thankfully brands are here to cash in on yet another holiday propelling consumerism.

From fast-food chains being extra cheesy to parody accounts helping people find love in their "Prime," we've compiled a list to ensure this Valentine's Day is one to remember (though some may want to forget).

Swipe right for singles on Amazon

Amazon has revolutionized e-commerce, changed consumers' fulfillment expectations, and entered the entertainment business. So what's next for the e-commerce giant? Dating. Well, not quite. 

Together with Thinko, a group of content creators, including Suzy Shinn, Ani Acopian, and Morgan Gruer designed a satirical dating website that mimics Amazon's website, Insider reports.

Much like the e-commerce giant's own marketplace, the page features ratings, Prime delivery options and product descriptions, like 87-year-old Teddy, who "leaves a voicemail every time" and "will watch the sunset with you."

However, there was one feature that many called out for being problematic: giving prices to those featured on the site.

you really putting "buy now" buttons on people in black history month, huh

— Official Juche Consultant To PM Boris Johnson (@swolecialism) February 4, 2020

extremely cool idea to put buy buttons on black people during black history month

— snack falcon (@bijanstephen) February 4, 2020

Though the website was meant as a joke, it clearly missed the mark here. Our advice? Don't bother with any dating services at all and treat yourself this Valentine's Day.

Put a ring on it

Consumers will shell out an average of $196.31 this year on Valentine's Day, up 21% from last year, according to the National Retail Federation. More surprising, total spend is projected to rise 32% year over year to a record $27.4 billion.

While that figure alone would be enough for anyone to shoo off love forever, KFC is here to encourage romance without breaking the bank. 

For $28.25, the fast-food chain is offering a Valentine's Day Combo, which includes all of that finger-lickin goodness sure to make for a good time. The meal comes with the chain's famous chicken, potato sides, drinks and best of all? A ring. Yep, we're taking this relationship from zero to 100 real fast.

The ring features a mini clay KFC bucket that's, of course, filled to the brim with chicken. Even better, the jewelry piece comes housed in a cushioned teal box. Go ahead and get your breakfast at Tiffany, but pick up your dinner from the Colonel.

Interested consumers will have to pre-order their meals on Feb. 13, but unfortunately this particular promotion is only available to select stores in Singapore and quantities of the limited edition ring are limited (just 30 will be made available).

For all the flames that burned out

The world is trash and sometimes it breaks your heart. But, like a good best friend, Burger King is here to make getting dumped a little easier.

The fast-food chain partnered with Warner Bros. Pictures to coincide with the release of "Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)." In the film, The Joker breaks up with Harley Quinn, so to honor the anti-heroine that she is, consumers are invited to bring in photos of their exes to select New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Boston Burger Kings on Feb. 14 in exchange for a free Whopper.

Not in one of these markets? Don't worry. The burger chain will also have a quiz set up on its BK app, so that consumers who get at least four of the five questions correct will receive a coupon for a $3 Whopper.

After all, the best kind of flame is one that sits beneath a grill full of burgers.

The gift everyone actually wants

While a dozen roses may be nice, Olive Garden wants to offer consumers the gift everyone really wants. For the second year in a row, the restaurant chain is selling bouquets of its famous breadsticks, because dreams can come true. 

This year, the bouquets will be available in restaurants beginning Feb. 13, Delish reports. However, if you find yourself needing this arrangement prior to that, Olive Garden's got that covered, too. On its website, the chain created a template for bouquet holders, which feature phrases like "Love at first bite" and "Love is letting you have the last breadstick," so that consumers can craft their own version of the product at home.

And if the thought of garlic breath on the big day of love turns you off, Olive Garden thought of that too. The chain created tiny chocolate mint boxes to nix any potentially embarrassing moments before they happen. You know what they say: The key to someone's heart is through their stomach.